What is a diplomatic thing to do

Say you'd really like to let the plant get larger for a while before you take any divisions and that you'll put her name on the tag for a future division. Give her the same story enough times, and she'll either forget or get the hint.

 

I usually wave off requests like that by saying "Oh ... that's a tricky one to grow - it certainly won't survive in your growing environment".

 

sorry, it was a gift.

 

Yep - I like that one best.

 

"I'll keep you in mind if I ever have a division I want to get rid of."

Then take them off your Christmas card list.

 

I guess "People in hell want ice water too" wouldn't be a diplomatic answer, but what about just "No!", simple and honest.

 

Good answer, Tom. I don't mind telling someone "No". Sometimes I steer them instead to a plant that I can give away (I am a soft touch, but know when to stand my ground). I give away quite a few plants to the newer growers in our society, but I have a special colored tag in the ones that I will not part with, and I have made everyone aware of that fact.

There are, however, exceptions. If it is a grower whose knowledge and skill in growing orchids is exceptional, I don't think twice about it. If I ever lose my plants (as I did in Katrina), I know that they will come back to me in spades. Yesterday I gave such a friend one of my Den. cuthbertsonii plants. I would not do that for just anyone!

Glen

 

what's the matter? I think nobody can obbligate you to do something that you don't want do.....so
a friend must understands it!

this is a good response!

 

I think it would depend on the size of the plant. If it's a small plant most suggestions above would work. However if we're talking about a 25+ bulbs with keikeis falling off then it might be more difficult

Keep in mind that people will get offended very easily in this situation. I used Jon's suggestion once in the past and it didn't go very well. It was a small plant that was not ready to be divided so it was my honest answer.

 

Start laughing hysterically and calling them names. That works. Trust me.

 

"Oh, dear, I need to check the battery, I can't hear you very well"--Old fart

"That is my late husband's favorite plant, you want some of his ash too?"--Old bitch

"What! You think this is a wealth distribution center?"--The greedy bunch

 

Absolutely state the price, Nelson. However, my advice is not very
good because I generally don't allow anyone in my greenhouse unless it's a very special friend and very special friends don't have
to ask.

 

Absolutely you can name the price. Nothing is free. Just remember, some of your "friends" will always ask for something but never give back. A "price tag" will stop them from begging...

 

"I'll say it again, NO. It's a simple word, only two letters. Which letter did you not understand, the 'N', or the 'O'??"

Actually used this on a tax client the other day, I said it laughingly with a smile and got her to laugh as well and back off.

For plants, I've used the gift from a deceased friend also. I've also used "trying to grow it to a specimen for judging" (tho I never enter plants, *G*) and the rarity and/or difficulty. But I've devolved into the simplicity of NO.

 

I realize I'm a bit late here, but I just don't understand why saying "no" has become such a dilemma for so many people. I swear it's a national epidemic. If I don't want to do something or give something away when asked to do so, I just say it - actually I probably wouldn't say an outright "NO", I'd probably say "Sorry, can't do that" or "Sorry I don't want to do that." I fully expect the same from people when I ask them for something or to do something they may or may not want to do. It's just more honest. Relationships are built on honesty, not guilt or obligations.

"No" is not a bad word. Well, I guess it can be if you scream it, but there's usually no reason to scream it. (Politicians are exempt from that statement.)

 

Laugh uproariously and say, "dream on!"

 

I'm usually fairly generous with my good plants mostly because I have good friends. The expectation & the reality is that if I ever lose the plant, they'll give me back the division, and vice versa. This is obviously to people that really know how to grow their plants, have sterile practices, etc etc.

That being said, I don't "do" division requests unless I'm setting up a trade. I offer the division to the person and ask them if they want it. That is made very clear to anyone that asks.

Obviously this is tough if you have much nicer plants than the person, but in general I care more about preserving my own selected divisions than I do about getting equal value in return.