in front of him was the word..... youreallyfuckedupthistimeCarl. Suddenly, Carl was struck with an epiphany, his road to Damascus. Wiping the sweat from his brow, Carl realized that was no ordinary glass eyeball he'd just destroyed. He'd seen photos of the antique glass eyeball of the deceased Madagascan orchid taxonomist Alfred Grandidier in a book owned by his spinster Aunt Vicky. Reeling in agony, and wiping the sweat from his brow, Carl grabbed his cell phone and speed-dialed the US Consulate for The Malagasy Republic in Antananananarivoana-banana. *ring* *ring* *ring* "Hello? This is the US Consulate for The Malagasy Republic in Antananananarivoana-banana. Mabel speaking. How may I help you. *snork*" Wiping the sweat from his brow, Carl said "Hi, Babe. This is Carl Perrier again. May I speak to...."