The Devil Came to Town

Carl, fresh from a few days off recovering from an Enema and Exorcism he had performed by a homeless chick he met in an alley has decided it is time to get on with his life.
He is done dwelling on the past and is ready to find him a ...

 

...new horizon! He feels fresh, invigorated, hungry for life again. As he revels in his new found spirit he hears a noise and is bemused to see .......

 

a 5 legged cat tripping over itself as it drags a rather large mangled rat down the street.
FOOD he thinks, Yes i am hungry. He hits his favorite carry out and orders a Calamari steak burrito with black beans and hummus, with a slice of Kiwi/Orange pie. While enjoying his meal a rather pixieish ...

 

....thought crossed his mind. "To explore and celebrate my new lease on life, I do believe a little drinky is called for...now what shall I have?"
He remembers a lovely night of champagne and hot sex he had a long time ago with a lovely lady, and he wondered......

 

if his tweaky back was up for a few rounds of pokey pokey .
But while contemplating this yummy thought and gettin Carl Jr all puffy,
he was distracted by a cop car, sirens blaring, chasing a car full of ....

 

.... renegade chipmunks. "Hey, I think I recognize the guy driving", thought Carl. Sure enough, as the munkers drew near, Carl broke into a huge grin. Sure as shit, there was Tommy, from ........

 

, from...the hood. He always was a bad egg and into any trouble, but he had a good heart. Carl starts to raise his arm in greeting when Tommy suddenly lifted a pistol and pointed it straight at Carl! Carl laughed out loud, that guy what a hoot! A shot rang out and Carl hit the .....

 

floor as Acorns were flying all over like nobody's business. Luckily the waitress was only winged by the whizzing 'corns. Carl thought that darn cheeky a$$ striped rat must really be in trouble or he just forgot his chipmunk specs. I sure hope he gets away from dem coppers ! After that excitement Carl decided to head over to the local bowling alley for a little ball flinging FUN and maybe just maybe he might ....

 

...be able to finally master that adorable barmaid who works there. Rubbing his hands together in anticipation and started to whistle a happy tune, Tommy a long gone memory. "It sure was nice to see him again", thought Carl. "Even if he did try to kill me."

As he approached the bowling alley, Carl noticed a strange car in the parking lot. Metal flake purple, with fins going out to there. As he drew nearer, he noticed .......

 

Esmeralda, blindfolded, bound and gagged and shoved crudely into the space between the front and rear seats.

 

Carl thought what has the vixen gotten her self into this time. She always liked her a bit of S&M fun but this time , oh hell, Carl flings open the door and pulls a scantily clad Esmeralda out of the car, flings her over his well built shoulders and runs off like Speedy Gonzalez, andele andele arriba arriba . Once to safety he sets Esme' down and gets her untied , she then proceeds to ....

 

frantically kick Carl with her strong hooves. She might have been a mere goat, but she knew what Carl had been doing to her just wasn't right. Hell, she thought...how do I find the SPCA??

 

but then and there after one wallop to the nads Carl decided that bestiality was a Perv thing and he was gonna be a one species kinda guy. With a firm smack on the rump he sent that vixen goat off on her 4 legged way. Now totally discombobulated Carl looked around for a place he could ....

 

deal with Carl Jnr in private

 

About the Birds & the Bee’s …and the Pelicans, and the Goats, and the Five Legged Cats. Then he thought maybe now is not such a good time, after all Carl Jnr had only turned up on his door step 1 week earlier. He had a note pined to his shirt and a satchel with two stale BLT’s on Rye, a can of 7up, 3 spare hanky’s, a couple of Richey Rich comic’s a semi automatic machine gun, and 3 pairs of bright green underwear. The note said Dear Carl he’s yours now. He needs a better life than I can give him! He has everything in this satchel that he needs. The Richey Rich comic’s and the green underwear disturbed Carl…..

 

[Editorial note to Tracey]

Please explain the concept of Carl JnR to Craig. Thanks.

 

Craig, you might want to read Brant's post of 2:31am.
I only raised the subject to try...oh wait.....I mentioned Carl Jnr to try to foster some creativity

 

I was just checking to see who was keeping up Please continue while I make up some different dribble

 

Go you good thing