The Devil Came to Town

...Fix it. Yeah, that's right....fix it..."

 

But it turns out Carl was sweating because he had in an anthropomorphic moment of haste thought the pussy was a sofa and

 

a Miller Genuine Draft Lite 64 calorie beer, he heard they were GOOD and thought it might allow him to ....

(that beer is actually good esp if close to being icy)

 

...fake coin from Miss Cleo's place. She hands them out on Sundays, usually outside of churches and bars. Embossed on the coin are the words "One session free with this coin". Carl thought it could be an omen. Miss Cleo must need his hlep and pronto, Tonto! So he jumped ....

 

back in his car once again with the Keebler elf and the Jolly Green Gaint to race to Ms. Cleo's place. Without any hesitation they flew down the road with little care as if they were in a NASCAR race. All of a sudden Carl had a flash and started sweating again because he realized if he did not get there soon....

 

would have to run down to the corner store an picked up a six-pack of SweetWater Hummer. In the middle of his first Hummer...

 

..he had a random thought. Hummers do that to him sometimes.
He wondered, if Cleo and Thelma are in real trouble, what am I bringing to the party? A big green dude who wears grass skirts and a midget. Not good. Not good at all..What would Dirk Pitt do??

He took a sharp left and quickly pulled into the ....

 

The trampoline store, this where he could think the best. He inspected the coin while drinking the hummer and doing triple somersaults, he noticed that on the opposite side of the coin, were the words “Made in Uzbekistan”, oddly enough this is were Zortan learnt the art of circumcising frogs. The dried flesh is woven into nifty little…

 

...ear muffs and are handed out to the virgins of the village, who keep them until ....

 

They turn 26years 4 and a half months old when they officially become unvirgins. This event is known as the “immaculate climactic unaided shudder”. The fact that the women still give birth remains a mystery to this day, for there are no men in the village or for that fact the surrounding villages. And yes in retrospect this means Zortan was once a woman!! She used to known as Zortanella…

 

"who keep them until ...." they're 12.

Realizing he promised Miss Cleo he'd bring a couple special dishes to the party Carl squeegees himself off and goes into the grocery store to get ingredients for Spam Casserole and Creamed Spinach with...

 

oysters. Then he looks for the next dish and something special catches his eye ..

 

...newt eyes. Yes, bucket after bucket of delicious Eye of Newt. This will be just the thing he thought....

 

..to take to Miss Cleo's place. She's always on the look out for newt eyes. Not because she uses them in her line of business, she just likes to fry them and eat em like pop corn.
He knew she would be pleased with the gift so he spooned up 2 lbs and headed for the check out. After paying he jumped into the car and sped towards ....

 

To the liquor store to pick up some Thunderbird as it was going to be a wild and crazy night. Hell I am in a car with both a midget and giant green guy so we can visit Ms. Cleo. What else could a guy ask for, except may be for...

 

Hats! A small detour to the Olde Hat Shoppe at the corner of West & Main. They'll be bound to have something to suit the party theme which was....

 

To come as your favorite movie title. At the party I started talking to a guy that was holding a tray, on the tray was a Bottle of Chianti and a plate of liver & fava beans. Under his other arm was a sheep with its mouth bound shut. You guessed it; he came as "Silence of the lambs". He started to tell me about Ms Cleo’s outfit, it had a large...

 

tutu that might look good on the transvestite serving drinks to...